Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
