I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This house was built for laser tag.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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