i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
