Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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