wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize