do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
