people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
