Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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