my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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