woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
