I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
