I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
