you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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