once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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