Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
