Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize