I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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