Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we made out on top of his cat.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
