i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
