Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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