This is not my ceiling
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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