I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
