JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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