You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
