U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
