Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
