how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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