quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
