i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
