I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
