That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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