My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is wine microwaveable?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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