I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
