Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
