Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
