so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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