does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
