i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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