It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
