omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
