You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
