no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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