I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
