Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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