then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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