it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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