forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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