Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
