last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
