does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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