Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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