i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
