btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
