Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
