is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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