I swear she didn't look like that last week.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
