i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
