So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
