You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
