My Higher Power is John Stamos
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
