Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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