Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
