maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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