I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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