Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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