if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
